Friend Science

Friend Science: Obligation vs. Pleasure

August 10, 2021

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Marica Borghi on August 21, 2021 at 3:30 am

This video resonated with me a lot more than I expected. I've noticed with time that I really can't, for the life of me, develop romantic feelings for people met on dating apps. I've tried a lot and always failed. On the other side, I always had developed a small crush for my friends. I realize that is probably because I've associated obligation to the 'search for a partner' while in fact it's natural chemistry and a strong friendship that get me the most.

Fiery on August 18, 2021 at 6:10 pm

Oh!!! I appreciate Science Mike so much more now!!! I'm also with ASD and didn't see anything either there!!

Leena Pentti on August 18, 2021 at 12:34 pm

I love this series. The ratio of good to bad experiences is something to really think about.

Marie Apodaca on August 17, 2021 at 1:23 pm

This is probably one of the BEST series I've seen on the society. I love Science Mike and how he explains 'Friend Science'

Robin on August 17, 2021 at 10:03 am

Another great episode. This series is so interesting and I really appreciate Mike's explanations, can't wait to watch more!

Erica is Lost in the Music on August 11, 2021 at 3:46 pm

You could cool the earth in the shade they were throwing. πŸ˜‚

"...don't miss out on the fact that they spent decades tilling that soil." Exactly. All successful relationships take work. It's a beautiful thing. πŸ–€πŸ₯°

Caroline Harris on August 11, 2021 at 12:36 pm

I love the phrasing of "mutual enjoyment". That's something I haven't said or heard before but completely explains the best friendship connections.

Tabitha Wagner on August 11, 2021 at 5:25 am

Another educational and fun episode. Keep up with the amazing new content. 😊

Michelle Griffin on August 11, 2021 at 10:03 am

Great break down. I love learning about people and why they do what they do. It helps me to understand myself better.

Kim Davidson on August 10, 2021 at 10:34 pm

Ooooh the chemistry was strong between the man and the woman in that clip. This reminded me of all the times my best friend (who's autistic) has asked me to explain how I (not autistic) can notice and identify certain energies between people. I've never been able to explain it and it would be interesting if maybe our own Science Mike could (at some point) explore that topic with us. :] Another thing that I found interesting... I was thinking about my best friends who I've known forever, and I've been wondering on and off why we're so close because we are such different people. Not just because they're autistic and I'm not, but other things like they're calm and focused and I am a hyperactive creative mess, they're careful by nature and I'm a natural risktaker, they're an introvert and I talk to everybody, they love the comfort of their home and I love traveling and seeing new places, I could go on. But seeing this episode made me realize something I haven't really thought about. One is that we sort of complement each other, but the other thing is that we nurture each other. We might be from different worlds but we share the same taste in music, we have a lot of common interests, but the most important things is that we have the same sense of humor and when we're together we always make each other laugh to the point where other people probably wonder what's going on. And that is most likely the glue. We obviously have a deep respect and understanding towards one another, and the trust goes bone-deep, but we have fun together and that is so important.

Kim Davidson on August 10, 2021 at 10:35 pm

Woopsie, I didn't mean to write an entire book! πŸ˜‚

Elmie K-E on August 10, 2021 at 10:19 pm

Shoutout to any other aromantic Mythical Beasts, whose biological makeup does not naturally include romantic feelings <3

I cheered when Mike said he was autistic too! YAY! I'd already suspected so, but hearing that confirmation was gratifying for me. Knowing how much extra work and attention I have to put in to reading social situations correctly, it's wonderful to see Mike do it so well, and I really appreciate this lil masterclass.

StormCrow on August 11, 2021 at 4:48 pm

I'm another Autistic Mythical Beast. Never got to test my romance. I do have a 19th century Household Encyclopedia. I wish there was one for modern times.

Heather Pellegrini on August 11, 2021 at 4:59 am

This was really great! loved every minute of it! πŸ‘πŸ»

Molly Fowler on August 10, 2021 at 7:40 pm

This is my favorite series so far ❀

Jessica Ross on August 10, 2021 at 3:07 pm

Definitely one of my favourite series on society. Mike has a beautiful way to explain what it takes to develop a lasting friendship. Although it takes me more to keep those relationships in real life, it gives me hope that it is possible.
Bless you Mike.

Nathan Moore on August 10, 2021 at 8:57 pm

I love everything about this series. I never get tired of hearing about things which I can use in my own friendships.

Jade Avery (they/them) on August 10, 2021 at 11:56 am

I loved the distinction between biological impulses and a conscious thought made in this video. Again, bringing up the concept of consent in a more subtle way as well as social appropriateness. It's so important that we learn to how to interpret, manage, and express ourselves, impulses and all, and to understand the bigger picture of our relationships and the effects of them long term. It helps us have healthier relationships and boundaries while also helping us learn about ourselves. Love this series!

Emilia Palo on August 10, 2021 at 10:35 am

I'm so happy that you brought up the blooming of romantic feelings towards someone you get to know better, as that is something people tend to ignore AND at the same time get scared at. And it shouldn't be, it should be treated as the neurochemical bonding it is and that it is totally normal and in many cases it is a thing that should be left as it is. It is not something greener over the fence but you shouldn't lose your sleep because guilt either, because it is your own actions that make you, not your feelings.

Derek Creighton on August 10, 2021 at 10:08 am

These two are amazing
They start my day with a smile
And they are a true example of what friendship is all about
I am best friends with my wife and I can tell and trust her with everything πŸ’•

Elizabeth (mythicallizzy) on August 10, 2021 at 12:10 pm

as someone who's autistic too, I don't understand a lot either but this episode so far is a my favorite one even though it's #2πŸ™‚πŸ₯°

StormCrow on August 11, 2021 at 4:49 pm

now we need a Mythical ASD Discord subsection

Elizabeth (mythicallizzy) on August 11, 2021 at 11:55 pm

^ ditto!!!!! I'd preach for this until it happens because it's SO NEEDED πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯°

Elizabeth (mythicallizzy) on August 10, 2021 at 12:05 pm

always a fun series!!!!πŸ₯°πŸ™‚

Adam Temple on August 10, 2021 at 4:25 am

Another great episode. Thanks Science Mike!

Navil Gomez on August 10, 2021 at 11:03 am

aww, this one made me feel so happy! my best friend and I have been friends for 10+ years and we have ALWAYS lived 4,000 miles apart (we live in separate countries) but no matter what; we call, we message, we meet up when we can, we make each other silly crafts, we cultivate our friendship and have millions of small, pleasurable moments that have made our friendship thrive despite the distance! it's a lot of work figuring out schedules against a 5HR time difference but now I get why it's never felt like an inconvenience. Thanks Science Mike!